(Printed with Permission of, and published in, Vision Magazine -- May 2003)

New Group: Evolving Male and Female Relationship

by Jane Ilene Cohen

What happens when women and men have gained enough strength, maturity and sanity to no longer be invested in creating fantasy relationships; and are no longer addicted to getting immediate satisfaction or support? And no longer feel un-whole without another person? At this point we have the incredible opportunity to explore relationship with open eyes, having dropped our investment in controlling the truth of what gets revealed. This is the point where shifting the present paradigm of male/female relationship becomes possible.

In human evolution, men and women have passed through many paradigm shifts in our relationship with each other. One perspective is this stems from our concepts of power, vulnerability and value, and a tug of war between men and women about who has them, and in what areas. This can also be seen as a part of a broader human dilemma concerning freedom vs. connection. Do these questions sound familiar?

"How can I be fully free to be who I am, in my full power, in conscious connection with my inner source, my life’s work, and my unique relationship with the universe, while simultaneously being in intimate, conscientious, passionate, and committed relationship with another person?"

"If I live totally from a place of authentic experience, and do what I really am choosing to do at every moment, will I be able to connect with anyone else in an on-going intimate relationship, building a life together? Or is it a matter of compromising and distorting myself in order to find a way to come together with another?"

Freedom and connection are huge driving forces in human beings that can appear to be mutually exclusive, causing endless conflict between men and women. This group is about opening up to a more expanded concept of experience. It takes a major leap of faith to be open to what is true, while admitting what really matters to us, without trying to control our experience of life. Once we are able to do this, the ground begins to shift, transforming our experience of reality. Both male and female have a piece of this puzzle.

Current, cutting-edge dilemmas between men and women seem to take the following forms:

1. Men feel they are not fully trusted and respected, as men, in their relationships with women. Kevin Rooney, a colleague of mine, notes, "In spiritual circles in particular, both men and women run a constant low-grade fever of fear/contempt for the masculine. The old models of manhood are obsolete, but the new models that are held up for us seem to lack something vital. How do we as men live in both integrity and strength and forge relationship with women that allow us and them to live all our gifts?"

2. Women feel they are not fully accepted in their strength, and the wisdom of what they know, in relationship with men. Many women feel if they express their true experience in relation to men, if they are in their full power in relation to their own life, and if they don’t cater to men in ways men seem to require, they won’t have a fully connected, deep, intimate, satisfying relationship with a man.

I am facilitating a Women and Men’s Group that focuses on delving beneath the surface layers of interpersonal relationship. Participants will be in present-moment dialogue, exploring the living material of their experience with each other, with the intention of participating in the cutting edge of evolving the male/female paradigm.

I am not approaching this group as if I already know solutions. This is an exploratory group, an adventure into human experience between male and female participants. I am assuming participants have already gone to significant depths inside of themselves, and possess the strength and desire to rock the boat of perceived experience.

The success of this group depends, in part, on the knowing that life is meant to work. I am committed to that concept. I know that when we dig deep under the surface, and pull away the defense systems and see what’s there, there is only love. This creates a safe space for what is there to emerge.

The group will be Wednesday evenings, beginning in June. Call for further information:

Jane Ilene Cohen is a Spiritual and Transformational Counselor, and Visionary (NLP Master Practitioner, TimeLine Therapy™, A Course in Miracles, Abraham-Hicks). Her larger visionary work is about opening up new paradigms and evolving experience. Jane has been published in "Vision Magazine," "The Light Connection," "Awareness Magazine," and "The San Diego Bride & Groom." She has a private practice in Del Mar, CA, specializing in relationships. Contact: (760) 753-0733, E-mail: JC@janecohen.net, Web: http://www.janecohen.net

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(760) 753-0733 - JC@janecohen.net - Encinitas, CA